


Out the door

by earlyavril



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Falling In Love, M/M, Violence, bad breakup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2018-12-02 14:50:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11511642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earlyavril/pseuds/earlyavril
Summary: Levi is being emotionally abused by his complicated boyfriend Nile. He meets Erwin and falls in love, and when he breaks up with Nile, the door isn't the only thing Nile slams.





	1. Chapter 1

Levi's standing in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at his own bloodshot swollen eyes and bruised cheeks, wondering what he should do. 

 

...

 

Initially, Levi had taken Nile's aggressive outbursts as a sign of stress and exhaustion, and figured Nile would get back to his normal self in a few days - when work calmed down. Only, weeks went by and work didn't calm down. Nile's new nature only seemed to settle and Levi couldn't understand exactly how it happened, but he started getting used to being ignored or snarled at on a regular basis. He felt guilty because he couldn't help Nile feel better, and he started to believe that he was always being too clingy and that that added to Nile's unhappiness. 

Since Nile never likes to go out to bars or clubs, Levi figured he'd just go out with his new colleagues one night. Just an after work at their favorite spot, nothing fancy. 

Then beers had turned into drinks and dancing, and when Levi got home, giddy and uplifted from good company and dancing, he noticed that someone had slipped a torn piece of a receipt into his jacket pocket. His thoughts had drifted immediately to the handsome bartender that his colleague had introduced him to, a tall guy with the most captivating ice blue eyes and a generous smile. A name and a phone number were scribbled on the slip. Erwin was his name apparently.  
On a whim, Levi had put the name and number into his phone, and before he knew it, they were texting, like real pals.

A few days later, when Nile went away for a business conference overnight, Levi had texted Erwin and they'd met at his bar, and then went to Erwin's place. They had wine and talked and laughed, like friends, but then Levi had kissed Erwin goodbye. They'd sort of tumbled into each other after that, like magnets blissfully finding their opposite pole. Levi had left with the feeling that he'd found a place where he belonged, and it was equally exciting and frightening.  
Erwin had begged him to stay, but Levi had made him promise not to text or call for a few weeks, until he'd sorted things out. Erwin had looked puzzled, but Levi felt like he understood everything, even if it was unsaid.

When Nile came back, Levi knew he had to break up with him.

 

...

 

"Reason, Levi. I need a reason!"

Levi winces at Nile's growl, and despite trying to remain calm and logical, he feels his heart start to drum faster. He bites his lip before he decides on the truth. Nile deserves the truth. He clears his throat and manages to sound really together.

"I feel disconnected from our life here. I've been feeling lonely for a long time. And last week when you were away I... I slept with someone."

Nile stares, he just... stares. Nostrils flared, like he's about to yell. Levi swallows and feels his throat constricting. This is way worse than he thought it'd be. Panicky heat starts to throb behind his temples and he knows he'll probably start to cry soon if something doesn't cut this awful tension. 

"I'm sorry, I should have talked to you earlier. I'm so sorry Nile", he adds, his voice a little thick, and he looks down at the wooden table surface, feeling completely overcome by shame and guilt.

Nile hums shortly and then he stands up abruptly, the chair tips to the floor with a loud clatter behind him. Levi startles and looks up at Nile who looms over him, mouth slightly open and fists clenched at his sides. His eyes are like black wells and Levi doesn't recognize his boyfriend at all. The thought strikes him, when did he last recognized his boyfriend in Nile? How had he been so blind as to not notice just how bad things were, earlier? He wants to say he's sorry again, but he chokes. He attempts to stand up but Nile grabs him by the shoulders and roughly pulls him up from his seat. 

Nile grips Levi's shoulders hard and now it's Levi's turn to stare. The harsh grip feels so strange, threatening. 

"I knew there was something going on", Nile mutters as he shakes his head a little. Levi grips his wrists to his hands off of him, but Nile doesn't let go.

"We've lived here for what, barely two months, and you've already found some fucker to cheat on me with? Who was it even, someone at work?"

Levi doesn't answer, he holds onto Niles wrists as those strong hands dig into his shoulders and he tries to think of what to say and do. Nile forces his attention back to his desperation when he forcefully shakes Levi by his shoulders, and then it's like an alarm goes off in Levi's head. He realizes that this is it, Nile's crossed some proverbial line, the dishes and the front door won't be the only thing Nile slams today. Levi gasps at the realization and puts more effort into trying to wrench Nile's hands away. 

He's released and takes a step back, but Nile follows and he's backhanding him suddenly and so fast Levi doesn't even have time to react before his other cheek gets it. His ears ring when he scrambles away, eyes widened in shock. Nile looks surprised, too. Levi turns and stumbles toward the hallway and the front door. Nile follows, he's fast and slams into Levi from behind before he gets the door open. He thrashes against the tall body that squashes him against the door, but Nile grips his wrists. Levi yells in frustration and fear and anger. What the hell is happening?!

"Get off of me!"

"You're a backstabbing little bitch Levi, I should have fucking known that about you", Nile hisses into his ear, breath hot and wet. Levi shivers and stops struggling when Nile suddenly lets go. He turns and meets Nile's gaze. Pain and anger is rolling off of him and his eyes are brimming with tears, just like Levi's. 

Nile's still for a second, and Levi opens his mouth to say something, anything to make things better, but then Nile pounces, like he's seeing red. 

Nile kicks a forceful knee between Levi's legs, and when he stumbles backwards, groaning in pain, Nile throws a punch to his face, and then another knee shoots into his stomach so hard that Levi thinks he's gonna throw up.  
He must've bit his tongue on the impact. As copper fills his mouth, Nile shoves him to the side so he tumbles to the ground, and then says coldly without even looking down on Levi; "I'll sleep in the office. You better be gone by tomorrow." Then Niles steps over his shaking body, opens the door, steps out. 

The door slams after him. 

None of it feels real. Levi really feels disconnected from this last moment, and for a few minutes, he lies practically paralyzed on the floor. Levi's dazed and confused, his head on the rough door mat throbs and his ears are ringing. He wills himself to focus, gives himself a moment to try and breathe normally.

He stumbles to the bathroom and spits a mouthful of bloody saliva into the sink. When he looks up into the mirror he frowns. His cheeks are starting to bloom an angry red from the hard slaps, and his left jaw where Nile punched him is starting to bruise. His stomach hurts and he can't fucking believe what just happened. After the initial shock, he magically snaps into project mode and begins to pack stuff into a backpack. He grabs clothes from his drawers without really looking, and his laptop and phone. Chargers. Wallet, jacket. He's out the door without a key.

 

By the time the shock-fueled adrenaline wears off, Levi is out on the street, looking frantically over his shoulder with every step. It feels like Nile could be anywhere. Nile who is no longer his boyfriend. Nile who's changed into a violent, unhappy shell of who he once was. 

Levi's battered face draws attention, and he startles badly when a mother with a stroller pass by and wonders if he's okay. He manages to nod and walks on, and when he sees a supermarket that's still open, he hurries inside. By the aisles, Levi's struck with the extremely upsetting and depressing reality of the situation. This small town is still new to him and he knows no one. He doesn't have any of his colleagues' social media or numbers yet - he could probably find out, but it wouldn't feel okay to come to any of them with a crisis just yet. His closest two friends, and his sister and her family, are many states away. 

It's friday and close to midnight already. Soon, a couple of bars and restaurants are probably all that's still open. 

Bars.

... There's Erwin. 

Levi leans against a freezer and texts Erwin for the first time since that momentous night one week ago. Well, he tries, but his hands are cold and he's still trembling so he only manages autocorrect nonsense. He mutters a curse and makes a call instead. Of course, it goes to Erwin's voicemail. He probably doesn't have his phone on at work. Levi sighs and feels increasingly uneasy, tries to maneuver a google search for the town's train station, but then a call appears. Erwin's name appears like a beacon of hope and Levi answers right away.

"H-hello", he stutters, fuck, where did his voice go? It feels scary to talk, like somehow Nile could hear him. He looks around frantically, feeling the panic build up all over again. There's music and ruckus on Erwin's end.

"Levi? What's, I mean, hello! What's up?"

Levi closes his eyes and feels tears start to gather, and he swallows only to feel his throat close up even more. What the fuck did he even think he was going to say?

"Levi! Are you still there? Are you okay?"

Erwin sounds worried now. Levi takes a shuddering breath and tries to sound composed, but he actually starts to cry as he talks.  
"Yeah, uh, I'm okay, I wuh-was wondering if you were h-home, if I could come over..."

Fuck, he sounds crazy. He squeezes his eyes shut, tears stinging them, and mutters an "I'm sorry" and is about to hang up but Erwin answers really quickly and the line is clearer, as if he's stepped outside.

"Wait! You sound upset, where are you? I'm at work but I want to see you", he says, sounding determined and take-charge. Levi bites his lip and wills himself to stop crying. 

"Levi? Come to the bar, please? You remember where it is?"

"Uh, no", Levi huffs, embarrassed, but he walks out of the store.

"You're still in town, yeah?"

Levi hums an affirmative. Erwin sounds so nice and patient, it makes him cry harder.

"I can come get you. What street are you on?"

Levi sees no street sign and he's got no mind to go on google maps. Between sobs he describes the store and other things that are close, like a lost kid.

"I'll be there in ten. Stay where you are, okay? I'll see you soon."


	2. Chapter 2

An old pickup drives up to the sidewalk and stops. Though Levi is feeling calmer now, he's nervous to see Erwin. He's tried to delay the question about his stricken face by wrapping a scarf around his neck it so it hides most of his bruised cheeks and jaw, but he's really pale and his eyes are evidently bloodshot and swollen from crying. 

Erwin steps out of the car, tall and a little scruffy but still so, so handsome. Levi watches, a flare of excitement tingles in his chest at the sight of him, as he walks toward where he's waiting with his back against the wall outside the now closed supermarket. Exhaustion finally gripped him as he waited for Erwin, and now as he starts to straighten up, he winces at how stiff and painful his stomach feels. Erwin rushes the last distance and frowns when he sees Levi close up.  
Levi, embarrassed, looks down on his shoes - Erwin's wearing a pair of really cool low boots. Levi's grey sneakers look innocent in comparison. 

He decides that Erwin can know nothing about Nile. What would Erwin think of Levi if he found out that Levi had been in a committed relationship when they slept together? He looks down on his shoes - Erwin's wearing a pair of really cool low boots. Levi's grey sneakers look innocent in comparison. 

"Levi, what's happened?" Erwin asks, and looks critically at Levi's avoiding answering him, but then he just bends down to take Levi's backpack that's been dropped to the ground. Then he carefully places an arm around Levi's waist. Levi flinches a little but then he leans gratefully on Erwin's arm, he would have stumbled on stiff legs otherwise. Erwin opens the car door and helps him inside. The action is so sweet and thoughtful that Levi thinks he can almost feel the kindness seep into him.  
Once they're both inside the car, he finds some resolve and removes the scarf. Erwin looks him over, lingers at his cheeks and jaw and eyes, all evidence of Nile's violent outburst. Levi opens his mouth to speak, but Erwin's faster; "Who did that?" 

Levi swallows, then shakes his head faintly, still not sure of what to tell Erwin. He buckles his seatbelt and wishes Erwin would start driving, and Erwin just starts the motor without saying anything and backs to turn.

"I got mugged", Levi finally manages to say, looking straight ahead on the path of streetlights lining the road. It's a reasonable lie. It's regretfully not unheard of for people in this small town to get mugged by criminal gangs passing through. Hells Angels and whatnot.

"I'm going to take you home", Erwin responds, jaws clenched, looking strangely decisive. Levi's eyes widen at that and he speaks before he understands that obviously, Erwin meant his own home, not Levi's; "What? No, you can't!" 

Erwin quickly shakes his head at Levi's outburst - "No, hey, I meant my home... okay?", he clarifies, but he looks questioningly at Levi from the corner of his eye, surprised by his words. 

Levi, reassured, sinks back into his seat and exhales. It feels good to be driving away from his and Nile's... well, Nile's, part of town. Even if Nile went to his office, it's still in the opposite direction of where Erwin is driving them. He prods at his jaw, it hurts some but he figures it probably looks worse than it is.  
He doesn't really know. Levi's never been punched like this before. That realization makes him start to think that it's all too typical, too dramatic, everything... it's like he's lived out a terrible movie script. Young man falls in love with older man, relationship ensues, older man pays for everything, the couple moves to a small town... things start to change... he's been living a fucking lie. Has he been lying himself all this time? Did he ever love Nile? Had he just talked himself into it, somehow, because it seemed, practical? Had Nile hit him before, had he just repressed it? So many questions. Levi's head hurts worse with every possible scenario he draws up.

They sit quietly while Erwin drives, and it's a quite comfortable silence. Erwin's presence is strangely soothing and Levi feels his heartbeat evening out. The lump in his throat seem to disappear and so does the dull throbbing sensation behind his eyes.  
"What about the bar? It's friday, weren't you busy?", he asks Erwin, looking up at him from under his bangs.

"There's plenty backup, don't worry about it", Erwin reassures, then turns on the radio. Then he even takes Levi's hand, and it's so effortless and lovely that Levi's breath hitches. And when Erwin squeezes his hand a little, Levi has to close his eyes, how truly wonderful it feels to be touched gently like that. Everything else seems to fade. He wishes they could just drive around like this, forever.

"I got so worried when you called, I just dropped everything to come and get you. I've... I've missed you. I'm sorry if that sounds weird", Erwin says, his voice even and soft but with a hint of shyness. He looks straight ahead, but he squeezes Levi's hand again before he lets go and Levi gets the feeling Erwin isn't new to dealing with, well, desperate people, crisis situations. He still wants to apologize, though.

"Yeah, I know... when I realized I'm new in town and that I don't... I'm sorry. Thank you, really", he mumbles, tries to sound coolish and not, well, like a nervous wreck.

"Don't apologize. I wanted to see you."

Erwin casts a quick glance at Levi and smiles, that reassuring, gorgeous smile that he almost instantly fell in love with.

 

Once inside Erwin's apartment, Erwin hangs up Levi's jacket and his heavy backpack on hooks in the hallway, and even if he thinks it, he says nothing about it being a little strange that Levi's been mugged, but got to keep his phone and bag. He leads Levi into the living room and asks him to sit down while he goes into the kitchen. 

Levi leans back on the couch and tries to gather his thoughts, make a plan, but all he can focus on is all the trouble that lies ahead - getting all his stuff from Nile's and his home, start looking for new jobs and a place to live, settling things with Nile and make sure they're, well, properly broken up... if that's even possible. All of these problems overwhelms him and it's like a dam bursts. He feels hot tears start to run down his flushed cheeks, and soon he's crying in earnest, because he's embarrassed and shocked still, and he's feeling so guilty in front of Erwin, and he's upset to have seen just how bad Nile has become, upset and shaken to have been treated like trash.  
He covers his face in his hands, muffling his sobs, as he tries to remember how much money he's been able to save... which only serves to make him even more upset. A clinking sound right before him makes him bring his hands down. Erwin places two glasses of whiskey on the coffee table. Then he promptly sits down next to Levi and places an arm around Levi's shoulders, carefully evaluating Levi's reaction. When Levi continues to sob quietly, head turned away, he guides Levi gently with his grip to lean into his embrace. The hug is tight and warm but not suffocating and Levi is surprised by how uncomplicated the act seems. He doesn't answer the hug, hands fidgeting in his lap, but Erwin holds him anyway.  
They sit like that for a minute maybe, while Levi's sobs die down and he lets himself be comforted by Erwin who draws little slow circles on his shoulder blade as he hugs him. Levi eases out of Erwin's arms, feeling embarrassed again, so he just grips a glass and takes a drink, without looking at Erwin.

"Do you want something to eat?" Erwin asks. 

Levi shakes his head, he's not hungry at all. If anything, he's still a little bit nauseous, but that's mostly from guilt and embarrassment... the whiskey warms his sore throat, and it feels good. Soon he's downed his drink.

Finally, when he looks up at Erwin, he's surprised to see that Erwin doesn't look bothered, pitiful or disgusted. His eyes are intently watching Levi but he's smiling, a subtle but honest smile, to make Levi feel better. Levi's lips twitch instinctually, as if they instinctually want to mirror Erwin's contagious, generous smiles.

Then Erwin gets that worried look again, he puts his glass down and leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees, tilted head turned toward Levi.

"Were you-", he starts to say, but Levi cuts him off by kissing him abruptly, practically smashing his lips onto Erwin's unsuspecting mouth. Well, not smashing, Levi's movements are always more or less deliberate and graceful. But as soon as he's put his lips to Erwin's, he feels starved, desperate for intimacy and luckily Erwin doesn't withdraw. Levi puts his hands around Erwin's neck and leans into him, inhaling his spicy warm scent. He licks at Erwin's full bottom lip, and Erwin obliges and opens his mouth, allowing Levi's tongue to taste the spicy liquor lingering in his mouth.  
Levi throws one leg over Erwin's knees so that he's practically sitting on his lap, kissing Erwin feverishly while pawing all over his back and shoulders. His fingers trace hard muscles, but he wants to get closer, to feel Erwin's warm skin against his... he so desperately wants to feel the way he felt when they slept together. Without hesitating, he pulls his sweater over his head.  
"Shit, Levi..." Erwin's brow furrow when he sees the big purplish blotch of a bruise on Levi's stomach, but Levi doesn't register that. He is busy with the buttons of Erwin's shirt and moans against the blond's neck when he feels strong hands grab his hips.  
But then Erwin places an arm around Levi's shoulders and draws him into another short hug, while moving away from the kiss. Levi looks up at him, feeling a new bout of embarrassment flush his cheeks, and he averts his eyes to stare down at the checked fabric of Erwin's shirt. His breaths are shallow and he can practically feel his heart hammering against his ribs. 

Erwin gently helps Levi sprawl off his lap to sit beside him again. There's a short, awkward silence. "Were you really mugged?", he asks, just as gently.

Levi, still looking down, sits completely frozen beside Erwin. He just wants to disappear. If he were to tell Erwin, would Erwin still want to be with him? Without thinking he shakes his head no, because some dominant albeit extremely non-practical part of him always has to be so fucking truthful. If he had been able to tell at least one decent lie in his life, he'd probably be better off right now. But he'd told Nile the truth about Erwin, and now he has to tell Erwin about Nile. 

"What happened to you?", asks Erwin quietly.

There's silence as Levi stares down a spot of paint on the wooden floor and he almost thinks Erwin's going to drop it, but then Erwin speaks again: "Hey... tell me?"

"I cheated on my boyfriend with you!", Levi spits out, biting his lip at how angry he'd sounded. None of this was Erwin's fault. 

"Levi..." Erwin says as he places a hand on his shoulder, all too soothing, Levi has the impulse to shake it off. When Erwin gets to know why, he won't want to be so kind and wonderful anymore... he takes a deep breath before he looks up. It takes all his energy and courage to look Erwin in the eye as he explains,

"I broke up with my boyfriend, because it's been bad between us since we moved here, and I slept with someone else. You. And then, he...", he trails off, swallowing thickly and trying hard not to look away when Erwin's eyebrows furrow in a concerned look. When Erwin removes his hand from Levi's shoulder, he feels instantly rejected. He feels ridiculous, having attacked Erwin like that... He snatched his sweater up from the floor, tugs it on with trembling hands as he steels himself for hearing Erwin's response. He frowns when he sees the dark bruise on his stomach, realizes Erwin saw it too. It's quiet for a few moments but then -

"He hit you when you said you wanted to break up?", asks Erwin tersely. Levi nods faintly, cheeks aflame with embarrassment and guilt.  
"What the fuck", mutters Erwin, quiet, but his voice dripping with disgust, but Levi's disoriented mind is making him believe that Erwin's disgusted with him for having cheated on his partner with Erwin, and not because Nile has been a violent asshole. 

"I should have told you before we...", Levi mumbles, and Erwin's gaze is burning the side of his face as he looks away. 

"Levi, it's okay", Erwin says, voice smoother now. "I get that you needed to escape." 

Levi buries his face in his hands again, he feels so shitty to have Erwin think that he only used him to get away from his boyfriend.  
"It wasn't like that!", he burst out, sitting up straight and looking intently at Erwin's confused and worried face. "You were... you... that night, it was..." Levi surprises himself with that sentence, he can't finish it, he couldn't admit to Erwin that he'd fallen in love in the blink of an eye, even if it was the truth and he'd decided to ride the truth train. If Erwin thought Levi had only used him as an outlet, he'd be crushed. More crushed than having been beaten and kicked out by Nile.  
Erwin stares at Levi for the longest ten seconds but then he smiles that little smile again. "Yeah, I know... me too." He says after a few nervous breaths on Levi's end.


	3. Chapter 3

Levi fumbles after his phone that's buzzing on the nightstand. Last night he agreed to sleep in Erwin's bed after some coercion, tough Erwin had looked cosy on the big couch when Levi had went out to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, so he didn't feel too bad about robbing him of his bedroom.

He opens the message, squinting at the screen. It's from Nile: [If you want to pick up the rest of your stuff I'll be home tonight.]

Levi sits up, frowning at the screen. Staring at the short sentences, he tries to find some hidden message between the digital letters. That it is indeed his boyfriend of two years who's written it seems... impossible. Well not impossible compared to what happened last night but -- it's too brief to give Levi any kind of closure. Although why he still wants it, he doesn't really know. If your partner hits you, you leave - isn't that what people say? Logically he's decided that a punch to the gut should be closure enough, but his proud, sensitive side is too hurt by the fact that Nile's thrown him out, that he seems completely oblivious about what's gonna happen to him.

Levi swallows and feels his throat is still thick with that lump of guilt and hurt. Even after a night of mostly undisturbed sleep, he doesn't feel well rested at all, everything feels just as unreal as last night and he's sore and achy all over. Sluggishly he makes his way out of the bed and into the conjoining bathroom, and he can confirm that he's indeed not well at all; one look in the mirror and he's shocked to see how haunted he's looking. His face and stomach look nasty, the bruises have darkened the way they do before they start to fade. His eyes are looking angsty and shadowy. He grimaces at his mirror self and marches into the shower cubicle.

In the shower, he finds himself wondering what Nile is doing. Home from sleeping at the office, probably. Had he seen that Levi had left his key? Was he regretting hitting Levi, feeling bad about it?   
Levi imagines Nile's familiar face marred with a frown and eyes brimmed with tears. The way he'd looked right before he'd gone off.   
He feels sorry for Nile, despite the cold, distant person he's become, despite the neglect and prospect of violence he's had to endure these last months.  
He can't accept that Nile would just brush him off like that. The way he's gradually closed himself off, there must've been a reason. Levi curses himself for not pressuring him to get to know what was really going on. He'd been so busy feeling neglected to even think of hearing Nile out. Not that Nile had ever been the sharing, emotional type... and now, there's this thing with Erwin.

Oh god Erwin. Levi groans in shame as he recollects the memory of himself climbing into Erwin's lap practically forcing himself onto him.

There's a soft knock on the bedroom door and Levi startles as he pulls his jeans on. 

"Levi, are you up?" 

He swallows, shaking his head as to make the thoughts scatter. "Yeah", he answers. 

They drink coffee and eat scrambled eggs and toast, Erwin telling Levi about the goings-on at his bar, obviously mostly to chase away the nervous silence that Levi provides. Levi nods and hums, grateful that Erwin is there and that he's not judging him or smothering him with worry and prejudice against Nile. Levi's phone buzzes beside his plate and Erwin looks at Levi as he grabs it. 

[I'm sorry.]

Levi's eyes widen. He bites his lip and feels his face draining all color.

"What is it?", Erwin asks gently, as he begins to clear their plates. 

Levi looks up, meets Erwin's careful but inquisitive expression, and shakes his head slightly in disbelief and wonder, "It's Nile... he says he's sorry."

Erwin frowns lightly. "That's it?"

"No - he said he'd be home tonight if I wanted to get the rest of my stuff", Levi answers, mumbling, as if he's ashamed to admit it. 

Erwin just hums a short affirmative. Then he gets up to put away the dishes, but soon he returns to the table and sits down with a stern look on his face. Levi sits still, blinks at him a little sheepishly, waiting for Erwin to voice an opinion.

"Levi... I don't know anything about your boyfriend except the fact that he just hit you", Erwin says, looks down on his coffee cup for a second, but then he looks up at Levi again with unfiltered worry. "I know we're new to each other, but I want you to be safe and happy... he doesn't seem to do that for you", Erwin finishes, voice even and gentle and so fucking well articulated and diplomatic and caring that it makes Levi want to throw his arms around the man and never let go.  
Levi stares, baffled at Erwin's honest display of care, and is once again overwrought with affection. And guilt. He buries his face in his hands, sighs so deeply he thinks he might've just damaged his lungs. A sudden flash of clarity hits him like a train and his mouth actually falls open slightly at the realization: he had slept with Erwin that night because he doesn't love Nile, not for a long time. He broke up with Nile with hope of getting to be with Erwin.   
His heart starts thrumming excitedly, and his face flushes with the sudden rush of adrenaline. Across form him, Erwin watches him intently as if he's hoping to be able to read Levi's mind.

"Fuck!", he groans, louder than he meant it to come out, and flies out of his seat. Erwin grabs his arm before he manages to rush out of the way. 

"Why did you call me, Levi?", he asks quietly as he holds onto Levi's slender forearm. 

Levi, turned away, tugs on his arm but stills when Erwin's fast but gentle grip doesn't ease up. His lungs deflate and he turns around, teary eyed and red faced, Before he's had the chance to process the action he says it.

"Because I'm in love with you."


	4. Chapter 4

It's like time freezes as Levi, mortified, braces himself for Erwin's reaction. Levi wants to have unsaid it, but he's also desperate to hear what Erwin feels. He's quite probably thrown his life upside down for the man, after all. The tall blond doesn't look horrified or disgusted, but there's a deep frown on his face that makes Levi want to smooth his fingers over his forehead. Erwin's mouth twitches a little as if he wants to say something and the expression makes Levi cringe internally.

"Levi..." Erwin mumbles, sounding a little pained and Levi can't stand it. He snatches his arm out of Erwin's grasp aggressively. "M'sorry", Levi mutters, unwillingly meeting Erwin's intense gaze. Erwin shakes his head at the apology, and actually looks a little hurt. "I, I'm..." Erwin says, but cuts himself off. The short silence after is excruciating.

Levi fidgets with the hem of his shirt, his eyes darting nervously between Erwin and the hallway. He feels the instinct to flee from this mess he's created. It's strong, makes his hands twitch. Erwin surprises him by reaching forward and taking his cold hand in his strong, warm one, but Levi is not in the mood to be comforted by his apparently unrequited crush. He's feeling his eyes threaten to tear up again, what the fuck is wrong with him - what is wrong with Erwin, he's obviously rejected Levi's sentiment, why are they still standing here? After some agonizing seconds Levi's patience wears off completely and he's suddenly desperate to leave. He yanks his hand out of Erwin's grip, and makes to rush into the hallway to gather his things and-- disappear. But before he's able to, Erwin calls him out, "Stop!"

Levi stops dead and realizes that he's breathing very heavily, like when he's really angry. He spins around and stares at Erwin's concerned face. His eyes welling with tears for the millionth time in the last 24 hours, and it's so embarrassing but he's so overwhelmed by this hot angry feeling that he doesn't even care. "Don't-- I get it, don't try to, I dunno, fucking apologize, don't-"

Erwin's eyes widen and he honestly looks floored. Just as Levi begins to spit the poison he's probably been longing to spit at Nile, Erwin shouts, loud and desperate-sounding: "Stop! Levi, I feel the same!"

Levi immediately stills and quiets at that. He blinks, confused, up at Erwin who looks honestly upset and hurt now.  
"I choked, alright?", Erwin actually hisses, and rakes a hand through his hair. Levi stares at him, mouth slightly agape. Erwin steps into his space, and Levi stays put as he tries to think of what to say. His pulse is pounding behind his eyes and he wouldn't be surprised if he'd start to cry again.   
Erwin swallows and looks at Levi with a hint of shyness in his gaze. 

"I don't want you to get hurt. Don't leave, don't go back to him", Erwin adds quietly, maybe even a little pleadingly.  
At that, Levi feels himself smile - and he officially declares himself crazy. He stares at Erwin, feels drawn toward him, not just because of his reassuring words but because he's fucking magnetic, and Levi's completely powerless against it.

"Thank you", he says in a hoarse whisper. It sounds a little sad, but he feels so damn lucky. The kindness Erwin's shown toward Levi actually gave him the resolve to exit an abusive relationship. It's a fucking miracle. So what if Erwin choked on those words for a minute. It's not like Levi's been perfectly eloquent this whole time, either. "Erwin", he adds, and Erwin looks at him like he's worth something golden. 

Erwin steps in to hug him, and when strong arms close around Levi's back, he throws his arms around Erwin's waist and just relaxes into that broad chest. 

After a few inhales of Erwin's warm scent, Levi feels a familiar heat spreading in his chest and stomach that for once has nothing to do with anger or hurt. It's want, greedy and strangely determined now that Erwin's made it clear that his feelings are indeed reciprocated. 

"Are you for real?", he asks, mumbling into Erwin's chest, because well, he had to confirm, it's just too perfect to be true that Erwin's as in love as Levi is.   
"Yeah", Erwin exhales. He bows down for a kiss, and Levi catches his lips with a smile.


End file.
